#Heartblog // You've gotta Mariah your life

I want to talk about Mariah Carey for a second. 

Yes, that Mariah. She's had more #1 singles then any other star. She slays her vocals. She's got magical honey colored skin. She loves butterflies and diamonds. She has a guy who literally follows her down the red carpet when she does press, with a special light that makes her look amazing and extra glowtastic. She doesn't care about what you think of her, Daaaaulings. 

I think one of the hardest things for women is the insane double standard between getting what you want and being labeled a "diva." Why is it that when men are powerhouses, who demand the best from their team and the people around them, they are "powerful" and "successful" and when women do it, they are a "bitch" or "trouble"? 

I think we need to change that. I think we all need to Mariah Carey our lives. It's hard for me but I've learned to ask for what I need and to be honest when something is happening that isn't working for me. I struggled for so long with the intense need to be liked by everyone. It killed me inside if someone didn't like me. I didn't want to hurt someones feeling so I just did what everyone else wanted. I never stood up for myself. But. the problem was that it was me that was suffering. My health suffered because I never asked for a day off. My beauty and self-confidence suffered because I was too afraid to tell anyone that I don't like black eyeliner or that the dress didn't fit. My personal life suffered because I said yes to every event and party because I didn't want people to hate me for not showing up, but then I ended up burnt our and exhausted. 

I think about Mariah and I think, she would never walk out of the house feeling less than 100% about the way she looked or what she was doing. She has a brand and an empire to run and she's the face of it so she has to not be everyone's friend and instead be the CEO of MARIAH. This goes the same for J.lo. Do you think J.lo looks that flawless each and everyday because she just sits in her makeup chair and let's whoever do whatever they want. Do you think J.Lo tries on dresses for the MET gala and says "if you like it, it's fine." Do you think J.Lo says yes to everyone? 100% NOT. 

I'm currently reading "Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead" by Sheryl Sandberg and she says “Success and likeability are positively correlated for men and negatively for women. When a man is successful, he is liked by both men and women. When a woman is successful, people of both genders like her less.” I totally agree. That is why I try to surround myself with women who support other women, and I always try to be a girls girl and send love to other ladies (even the ones who I am slightly jealous of.) 

So, yes, some people might not like me, they might think I'm particular or hard to please but at the end of the day I don't care if people call me a "diva" or a "bitch" because like Tina Fey said "Bitches get stuff done."

Guys, we have to stand together and change the way people feel about powerful women. We have to ask for what we need so that we can be the best women we can be. We have to learn to say NO and not feel guilty. 

Mariah Carey your life, and I will too.