#Heartblog // What To Do When Something Really Mortifying Happens To You

mortifying comic

Ahhhhhh. 

Fact: If I had a high speed plane I would be living far away in some small town in africa today.

Fact: It I had a shovel I would be digging a hole in the ground for me to crawl into.

Fact: I hate myself a little.

I had a rather mortifying time this weekend at The American Country Music awards. I couldn't even know where to begin but So many things happened, that cultivated in me seeing Taylor Swift for the first time since I danced with her in 2009, and making a complete idiot fool of myself. Here is the thing: that  was one of the biggest experiences of my dance career. It was always one of my favorite memories. I was stupid enough to think that she would remember me, and then also stupid enough to think that even though she was whisking past me on the carpet, that our mutual performance might be enough for me to coax her into coming over to answer one of my questions. 

She didn't remember. I looked like an asshole.

Also, someone decided to put that moment in the final edit of our video.

Where is my hole to go live in?

I'm pretty sure I am not alone when I say I have had my fair share of totally brutal moments. Those minutes where you wish so badly that you could have a do over. But you can't, and in my case, now the entire world will get to relive my stupidness on the internet for years to come.

So what can you do? Cry. Give yourself a little hug. Hate yourself a little. And try as hard as you can to remember that, most people are thinking about themselves and not re-living your life with you. Surround yourself with people that will tell you that you are great even though you clearly are not. Snuggle with your dog. Figure out what you could have done better in order to not be in the same position again next time, and mostly just cry. 

Everyone, at some point in their lives will have a moment that makes them want to be invisible. I know I'm not alone, and I know that this will pass, and eventually become a really good story I tell at dinner parties, but right now. I wish I could find that hole.