#Heartblog // Death
Today was a bad day. A person you loved died.
Death, when tragic, is able to put you into some sort of panic attack or loss shock. Eventually, you melt out of that shock and along with your horrible heartbreak, you come out with some sort of pity story. This story can be your strong suit against family gatherings and your get out of free card at work when someone sends you a scalding email about something you were supposed to do already.
"I’m so sorry, you see, I haven’t been sleeping..."
You are in the good books for life. They cannot fire the sister of the man who died in that tragic accident. They cannot fire the girl who has a mom who has cancer.
Death, when fleeting is really about a small finger sandwich and a skirt that actually goes to your knees. I do not know who owns these skirts, but apparently you are supposed to have one, so if someone dies you can wear it.
The worst funerals are for the people you really loved. Someone who changed your path on this planet. Most of the time, those people never knew. Your uncle Dennis was not actually your uncle. He was your dad’s best friend, who eventually became your godfather. He was the tallest person you have ever met. He was a fixture at Sunday Night mash potato gatherings. He had no children, he loved you like his child. He was at every single lame growing up event you had. He always cheered you on.
You had 29 years of chances to stop and tell him how much he changed your life, or that you loved him.
But you, in your typical movie screen mentality figured that eventually one day, when he was old, you would be sitting beside his hospital bed and some sort of haunting enya song would start playing, and you would break into an epic monologue of love.
But he died.
He got sick on a Sunday and died on a Wednesday.
You never got a good-bye.
You had the chance to get up in your black pumps and knee length skirt at the funeral, when the guests were asked to speak- and you didn’t. Instead you ran all the millions of things you would say until someone else did, and it was over.
Please stop this.
Stop tweeting your feelings, stop facebooking your feelings, stop blogging every single one of your feelings so that the people in front of you get a blank faced, empty engine of actual you.
There are so many people in your life who you love, who brighten your moments and it is so easy to take them all for granted. It’s so easy to expect a normal tomorrow. It’s too easy to believe that everyone knows how much you care about them.
Write some letters to the people who matter most.
Just because you can.