#Heartblog // My Love is Conditional

A couple of years ago Christopher Gutierrez and I wrote a book together called "The Imperfections of James and Kate" (which you can purchase here). When Chris writes he gives me  John Green vibes, with 100% more desperation, grit and with some booze thrown in. Life is not a fairytale in his stories. He wrote the most incredible post on his blog, and I had to share. Enjoy. xx

"I left her about a year later and it wasn’t easy to walk away from someone you had pictured a future with. To walk away because I knew that her damage had finally caught up with my health. That her demons finally started to overpower my hope. And I lost my smile. And that happens when love is neglected. And I held on for a long time. Longer than I would have ever told anyone to hold on. But I couldn’t base a future on a foundation of sadness and disappointment. And when I walked away no one blamed me. They understood. They knew it had weathered me. It had dulled my shine because my optimism didn’t stand a chance against her cynicism and pain and mistrust. A good partner knows how to compromise, but a responsible partner would never allow someone they love to sacrifice who they are as a person. And while it was my job to support her even when the nightmares and addictions came back around - you can only expect good people to feel neglected and unappreciated for so long. 

So I walked away because my love is not unconditional. My head and my heart need to be nurtured and appreciated. Because I will wither away. Fade. Dull. If I don’t feel loved and I really don’t think that’s asking for much. 

Because it isn’t.

And you don't need anyone who thinks it is selfish to keep yourself healthy. Because happy people make this world a better place. And happy and healthy people attract other happy and healthy people and that’s what we deserve - to get back what we put out in to this world. So no, I wouldn’t blame you for leaving if your heart continued to get crushed. If your love was not reciprocated. And if someone treated you like a nuisance and not like the wonderful person you truly are. 

So yeah, you’re damn right my love is conditional.

And anyone who thinks otherwise is simply selling themselves short." 

Love my #Heartblog posts? Check out more below: 

#Heartblog // Death 

#Heartblog // Being Special

#Heartblog // Remember